i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
