And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
