I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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