I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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