I wannas sexs uuuuu
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
