So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
