If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize