capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
