omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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