The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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