and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize
