Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
