It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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