So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
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usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
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I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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