i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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