WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
