i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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