yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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