i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
