My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
