I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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