he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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