It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize