Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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