I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
