# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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