like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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