the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
