i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
