I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
