Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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