Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
