Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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