We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
