I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Farmville is her only friend.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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