Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
