So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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