conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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