does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
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IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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