Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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