Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
