just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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