The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
