operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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