Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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