Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
