New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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