Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
