I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
