Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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