yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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