shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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