No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
