Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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