Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
