I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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