He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
