nut hugger
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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