I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
