I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
God, I missed his penis.
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